Wow! It sure has been a long time since I have been on here. And...so much has happened and so much to tell...or not...hahaha. I will just have to fill you in a little at a time. Sure did miss you all and hope there are a few of you still interested in listening and/or reading my rantings. I promise to focus on updating my blog the next few days with pictures and information. Promise!!!
But for tonight....sweet dreams and visions of sugarplums.
Love to you all and hoping you had a wonderful Mother's Day if that applies to you. Mine was very quiet...peaceful..uneventful..
Loneliness facing up and down these hallways Secondguessing every thought Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say
Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this.
I believe that love should be a reason To give and get back in return (to give and get back in return) I wanna breathe in a new beginning With someone who will wrap her arms around what's left of me
Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold onto Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this.
Inside I'm barely holding on There's something that's already gone Inside of me a world is in this all alone
Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go of this Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me to Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this. Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me to Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this
Traffic crawls, cell phone calls. Talk radio screams at me Through my tinted window I see A little girl, rust red minivan She's got chocolate on her face Got little hands, And she waves at me Yeah, She smiles at me
Hello World How you been Good to see you, my old friend Sometimes I feel, cold as steel Broken like I'm never gonna heal I see a light, a little hope In a little girl Hello world
Every day I drive by A little white church It's got these little white crosses Like angels in the yard Maybe I should stop on in Say a prayer Maybe talk to God Like he is there Oh I know he’s there Yeah, I know he's there
Hello world How've you been Good to see you my old friend Sometimes I feel as cold as steel And broken like I'm never gonna heal I see a light, a little grace, little faith unfurled. Hello world
Sometimes I forget what livin' for And I hear my life through my front door And I breathe it in, Oh I'm home again I see my wife, little boy, little girl Hello world Hello world
All the empty disappears I remember why I'm here Just surrender and Believe I fall down on my knees Oh hello world Hello world Hello world
Everybody needs inspiration Everybody needs a soul Beautiful melody when the nights alone
Cause there is no guarantee That this life is easy (yeah) When my world is falling apart When there is no light to break up the dark That's when i (i) look at you When the waves are flooding the shore and i Can't find my way home anymore That's when i (i) look at you
When i look at you I see forgiveness i see the truth You love me for who i am like the stars Hold the moon Right there where they belong and i know I'm not alone (yeah)
When my world is falling apart When there is no light to break up the dark That's when i (i) look at you When the waves are flooding the shore and i Can't find my way home anymore That's when i (i) look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and i Can't find my way home anymore That's when i (i) look at you
You appear just like a dream to me Just like a line of school colors that cover me All i need every breath that i breathe Don't you know you're beautiful (yeah yeah)
When the waves are flooding the shore and i Can't find my way home anymore That's when i (i) look at you
I walk upon a deserted island Barren and vast Searching in all directions for some sign Some fulfillment Only receiving an empty stare Reflecting back Nowhere to run Nowhere to hide Only emptiness Deep emptiness Staring back at me Emptiness everywhere.
Lover it's not I who didn't try Hard enough And this is why I'm saying goodbye I've had enough Lover don't you see The pain in me That's plain in me That's plain enough You're never here to catch the tears I've cried for us I've tried and tried to put aside The time to talk, But without luck So I'll just lay this letter Upon your sweater And I'll just walk away And this is why I'm saying goodbye I've had enough.
*********************************************** Upon My Couch I Lie...
Now I don't feel any pain I should consider love again and not let months and years roll by at least I ought to have a try.
It's all too easy on one's own supportive friends -- a telephone and of course I have to mention the marked absenc of love's tension.
But memories and sentiment mean I dwell on what it meant to love another loving soul life was sweeter, I felt whole.
I slump and gaze with dreamy stares remembering my love affairs my mind is cute and must be credited all the bitter bits get edited.
Mmmm--some warm man to court me, bait me someone smart to motivate me be romantic, sentimental intelligent but not judgmental.
Give me space, be unsuspicious always find me quite delicious he'll love my body and my brain and I'll be great in bed again.
I know I cannot lift a finger to find a love song or a singer if you could send a man along well who knows--I might try a song.
But now I have no energy so brave new man must come to me it is chutzpah I confess-- could you give him my address?
*********************
Tiger
I was never the man-eating tiger You always convinced me I was.
You mistook my snarl... it was laughter. You misunderstood my claws... I needed attention.
The tiger golden in my eyes was the sun.. Drowned in growls of Storm clouds.
I would gladly have given my skin for your Trophy room...
But you were never the Mystical Rajah I almost convinced you You Were.
Dedicated to my dear, dear brother .... I love you Mark and miss you more then you will ever know.
May the angels protect you Trouble neglect you And heaven accept you when its time to go home May you always have plenty The glass never empty Know in your belly You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing You find friends worth having As every year passes They mean more than gold May you win but stay humble Smile more than grumble And know when you stumble You're never alone
(Chorus) Never alone Never alone I'll be in every beat of your heart When you face the unknown Wherever you fly This isn't goodbye My love will follow you stay with you Baby you're never alone
Well I have to be honest As much as I wanted I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow So when hard times have found you And your fears surround you Wrap my love around you You're never alone
(Chorus) Never alone Never alone I'll be in every beat of your heart When you face the unknown Wherever you fly This isn't goodbye My love will follow you stay with you Baby you're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you Baby you're never alone
May the angels protect you Trouble neglect you And heaven accept you when its time to go home And when hard times have found you And your fears surround you Wrap my love around you You're never alone
(Chorus) Never alone Never alone I'll be in every beat of your heart When you face the unknown Wherever you fly This isn't goodbye My love will follow you stay with you Baby you're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you Baby you're never alone
Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face And said I just don't care
It's only half past the point of no return The tip of the ice burg The sun before the burn The thunder before lightning The breathe before the fraze Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone Have you ever been touch so gently you had to cry? Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
It's only half past the point of oblivion The hourglass on the table The walk before the run The breathe before the kiss And the fear before the flames Have you ever felt this way?
La La La La La La La La
There you are, sitting in the garden Clutching my coffee, Calling me sugar You called me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight Have you ever held your breathe and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight
love builds up the broken walland straightens the crooked path.love keeps the stars in the firmamentand imposes rhythm on the ocean tideseach of us is created of itand i suspecteach of us was created for it”--Maya Angelou
"Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, the loss of a job... And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. To be hopeful, to embrace one possibility after another - that is surely the basic instinct... Crying out: High tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is." - Barbara Kingsolver, High Tide in Tucson
"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."
~Josephine Hartfrom
“The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment,
when you are between asleep and awake,
when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy,
when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality,
I sit alone in the quiet darkness, Thoughts of you running through my mind. And somehow the night is not so dark, And I am not so quite alone. I hear a dog bark in the distance, And I wonder who is trespassing into my thoughts. But then the stillness engulfs the darkness once again; And my mind wonders back to thoughts of you.
I can see you standing next to me; And with your presence, I feel warmth and safety. Suddenly, you vanish from my vision; But the warmth from your presence is still surrounding me. And as I drift of into peaceful slumber, My thoughts are still of you. For you are not only in my thoughts, But in my heart too. For you have lit a light within my heart; And no matter how obscure the darkness is surrounding me may be, The light within me will brighten everything. And I will stay safe and warm with you forever.
Today I stopped Crying. I stopped wallowing in Sorrow. Today I moved up and out of that rut and BACK into LIFE. Today I looked forward to TOMORROW and stepped past all MY yesterdays. Today I began to LIVE Again. Differently this time. Happier, Content and Smarter. Ready to begin. Today I begin Begin to Live Again.
You hold the answer deep within your own mind. Consciously you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain we reject it, we erase it from our memory, but the imprint is always there.
We wash it all away, we wish it all away, we hope it all away, we ??? it all away.
The pain that grips you The fear that binds you Releases life in me In our mutual shame we hide our eyes To blind them from the truth that finds a way to who we are
Please don't be afraid When the darkness fades away The dawn will break the silence screaming at our hearts My love for you still grows This I do for you Before I try to fight the truth my final time
We're supposed to try to be real. We feel alone when we're not together, and that is real.
Can't wash it all away Can't wish it all away Can't cry it all away Can't scratch it all away
Lying beside you Listening to you breathe The light that flows inside of you burns inside of me Hold and speak to me Of love without a sound Tell me you will live through this and I will die for you Cast me not away Say you'll be with me For I know I cannot bear it all alone
You're not alone, honey, Never. Never.
Can't fight it all away Can't hope it all away Can't scream it all away It just won't fade away
Can't wash it all away Can't wish it all away Can't throw it all away Can't scratch it all away
Can't fight it all away Can't hope it all away Can't scream it all away ? it all away ? it all away
But the imprint is always there, nothing is ever really forgotten
Because I'm dying too, because I'm dying too, because I'm dying too, because I'm dying too, because I'm dying too
I am looking for a way to expand my mind, my life and my universe. Today I am looking into myself and speaking from the heart. I look at my blog as just another form of journaling. I hope it works as the tool I need to move forward in my life.
